Flog of the Week: Mature Age Students

Welcome to a new series – ‘Flog of the Week’.

This week I’m kicking it off with not a single person but an entire group of people. I know that can seem unfair, but in this instance it’s genuinely every one of them.

Mature Age Students.

Full disclosure I am technically a mature age student myself but I am attacking my postgraduate degree the same way I attacked my unfinished undergraduate degree…with little to no effort and an unfounded feeling of superiority. So, for the purposes of this blog (and my own self-worth) I am not one of those mature age students.

Anyone who has studied at university knows that Mature Age Students are the absolute worst. In every class they’re always sitting at the front, looking engaged and interested like some kind of asshole.

We get it. You’re here because you want to be rather than because your parents and peers pressured you into it but can you be less annoying about it?

How about when the lecturer asks if there are any questions at the end of the class you take the lead of the other 95% of the class and close you laptop, pack your shit and head to the exits. In actual fact no one else wants to hear your ‘alternative theory on the syllabus’ or your ‘interesting note on this weeks reading’. Seriously, shut up.

I’m sure you’ll find it’s a relief to know though that mature age students are as annoying if not more annoying than off-campus/online students. I’m doing my degree via correspondence and the amount of unnecessary and infuriating posts on the OPTIONAL discussion boards is absolutely ludicrous.

Hey ‘Steve from Moonee Ponds’ I could not give two fucks if you “found the reading enlightening and the OPTIONAL homework really helpful and between you and me, fun!”

Hey Steve, your jokes are shit, there is no way I’m doing the OPTIONAL homework oh, and I hate everything about you.

Oh and ‘Eliza from Stafford’ no-one is impressed by your Week One photos and your “interest in the difference in images when you change the apperture and shutter speed’.

Yo Eliza, any danger of you fucking off?

In conclusion Mature Age Students are all flogs. They’re this week’s Flog of the Week.