It turns out there is a cyclone headed for my town in the next couple of days and in a nod to my inability to be a fully-formed adult at 27, I had zero idea how severe it is predicted to be or when it would be happening until my Mum called me about it this morning.
She wanted to know what I was doing about the ‘cyclone prep’ while she and Dad were interstate.
LOL
Firstly Mum; if this cyclone is as bad as you’re saying it’s going to be surely you’d be coming home to manage the situation/look after me/the house/the pets etc.? Oh you’re not? You’re staying in Sydney with your favourite child and your grandchild? SHOCKER.
Secondly, what is this ‘prep’ you speak of? I’ve not been through a cyclone as an adult and you better believe I took absolutely no notice of anything that you did in these events as a child. As long as there was food in the esky and batteries in my discman/mp3 player I was sweet.
Alas though, it looks like this one is on me.
Luckily for me my parents (selfishly) moved from our sick family home to an apartment recently so the level of danger on the 19th floor is considerably less – silver lining of no longer being able to go home to my real home or ever have an opportunity to teach my own children to swim or play tennis or in anyway share my own childhood memories and traditions with them, though right?
But anyway, as I said, this one is on me.
Having been living blissfully cyclone free for 8 years now though I’ve been trying to remember what they’re like and these are the main takeaways I’ve got:
- Candles make everything cooler and fire is fun
- Monopoly with your family will still absolutely end in someone getting grounded and someone crying even in the dark
- Having to exist in Townsville with no air-conditioning is hell on Earth
- Canned food is for poor people and I want no part of it (this still stands)
- Weirdos who enjoy camping are actually good people to befriend in events like these because they have access to things like generators and camp ovens (see point above)
- Flash flooding closing schools is North Queensland’s version of a snow day and they were awesome (as long as your actual house didn’t flood, that’s obviously not ideal)
- Alcohol is necessary and should take priority in the esky – get a second if you need (Relax guys, I learnt this by watching my parents, I wasn’t drinking as a child)
Fun memories for sure; but not the most helpful right now.
I’m not a complete idiot though so I’ll 0bviously move the furniture off the balcony. But I’ve still got questions about the ‘prep’ and the event itself.
- How many days do I have to be without power for Centrelink to sling me a couple grand?
- How does Centrelink check this kind of thing or is it an‘honesty system’?
- Does Sarah Wilson allow you to break from the 8 week I Quit Sugar program if canned food is your only option?
- How many cans of tuna can you eat before you’ll die of mercury poisoning?
- Will an inter-state university give you an extension on assignments if you are without power (regardless of the fact you’ve not started them in time anyway)?
- Do people really fill their bathtubs with water to flush the toilet? If that’s true, I am out on humanity because that shit is disgusting. Hold it in and then go to a McDonalds as soon as they open. Come on guys, have a little class
I would say wish me luck, but I’m feeling pretty well prepared and overall fairly confident about how I’ll handle this when it hits so probably no need.
Probably Not a Thing 