In another new series for the blog, I’m excited to bring you ‘Just The Absolute Worst’. This is where I will basically just name things that are the absolute fucking worst.
For this first installment I bring you: Lift Talkers.
Since moving back in with my parents I’m back living in an apartment building that requires me to use a lift (keep your comments about using the stairs to yourself because I’m on the 19th floor so that’s just a completely ludicrous suggestion.)
Nothing fills me with fear and anxiety faster than waiting for the lift to arrive, wondering what the hell I’m going to do if there is someone in it who might say hello to me. Or worse, ask me how I’m going and expect me to reciprocate.
I don’t care how you your day has been or is looking, where you’re off to or where you’ve been. And it’s weird if you care about those things for me. We’re not friends, why are you so obsessed with me?
Lift Talkers; they’re just the absolute fucking worst.
Oh and to the deadest psychopath on level 20 who has twice now spoken to me when I’ve got my headphones in, which everyone knows is the international symbol for ‘definitely don’t fucking talk to me’, you are the absolutely fucking worst of the worst.
Please note: Lift Talkers of course extends to workplace lifts as well. How about you don’t comment on your desperate need for coffee in order to get the day started like some clichéd Instagram post and we just stand in silence until we reach our respective offices instead? Work is shit enough without having to start it with a fake greeting from a fucking stranger from the gaming company two floors up.
So yeah, don’t be a Lift Talker. They’re the absolute fucking worst.
Probably Not a Thing 